You know, I am firmly steadfast in my believe that trauma fear and heartbreak intermingled with deep joy within the same experience simultaneously, needs to exist side by side. I went through 2.5 years of trying to get pregnant, 2 years of, at times, physically painful fertility treatments, (having endometriosis, poked and prodded/hormonal changes causing depression). I was blessed beyond measure I became pregnant with boy girl twins (!!). I had a normal c section, followed with severe bleeding, emergency hysterectomy, my life touch and go in SICU for four days with internal bleeding (receiving 17 units of blood-more than one’s body contains), until I mysteriously stabilized my red count. 10 days total in the hospital. I did not see, or hold/touch my daughter for 6 days. Both my tender newborns must have wondered if I were coming back. This trauma is The Worst part. I can’t nutshell the experience (unless perhaps, I work through ADHD LOL). In any case, how can I feel the elation and celebration of childbirth, without thinking about the sadness and trauma, too?? It’s impossible. Pure Empathy, Kelly-you envelope whatever emotions and memories you need around your heart to relive the joy portion of the program. I do not know you personally, but wow do I feel a connection with you. Love, Charlene ❤️
Kelly, all of this makes perfect sense to me! And, may I say, that photo is just beautiful! 💚
Thank you and isn’t?! Jennifer Loomis is my cousin and the most talented photographer 😍
Oh god, yes. “The look!” I know it well, and you nailed the experience, and the evolution, of learning to walk through life receiving it.
Thank you. It’s such a strange thing to grow accustomed to and yet here we are.
You said it yourself, those who know you, know. That little sweet ladybug will always be there in your heart and home.
The battle between my rational and emotional brains is intense!
So true!
You know, I am firmly steadfast in my believe that trauma fear and heartbreak intermingled with deep joy within the same experience simultaneously, needs to exist side by side. I went through 2.5 years of trying to get pregnant, 2 years of, at times, physically painful fertility treatments, (having endometriosis, poked and prodded/hormonal changes causing depression). I was blessed beyond measure I became pregnant with boy girl twins (!!). I had a normal c section, followed with severe bleeding, emergency hysterectomy, my life touch and go in SICU for four days with internal bleeding (receiving 17 units of blood-more than one’s body contains), until I mysteriously stabilized my red count. 10 days total in the hospital. I did not see, or hold/touch my daughter for 6 days. Both my tender newborns must have wondered if I were coming back. This trauma is The Worst part. I can’t nutshell the experience (unless perhaps, I work through ADHD LOL). In any case, how can I feel the elation and celebration of childbirth, without thinking about the sadness and trauma, too?? It’s impossible. Pure Empathy, Kelly-you envelope whatever emotions and memories you need around your heart to relive the joy portion of the program. I do not know you personally, but wow do I feel a connection with you. Love, Charlene ❤️
Kelly, this was so beautiful.