The good stuff

Apologies for ghosting you last week. Life was, well, life-ing. This week hasn’t slowed either as we stare down the end of our school year. Here in the Northeast, we still have two more weeks of school because we don’t go back until September. Also, August is the hottest month of the year, there for a summer month, not a school month, and I will not be hearing any arguments to the contrary.

Amidst the chaos of baseball playoffs, end-of-year concerts, recitals, and field trips – I have been feeling the full weight of our family calendar. Juggling chauffeuring with who needs a bagged lunch while double-checking that the right uniform is clean and the costume pieces are all still where they should be is always a lot. When I get stressed like this, I also tend to notice all the inconsiderate and/or purposefully mean things people say and do.

A late cancellation, a bad call during the game, a car taking up two spots in a packed parking lot. They pile up on each other and set me off. When time and energy are in short supply, these affronts not only seem to increase in frequency but also feel more personal. It’s like someone told you not to notice all the jerks around you and then of course all you can do is see all the jerks.

This week, however, something shifted. I wish I could say I made the change intentionally but alas I cannot. At some point, though, I couldn’t help but notice all the NICE things people were doing for each other. And in places that I would least expect them, like the DMV.

Overdue for a Real ID, I found myself waiting in one line, and then another, and then another. The stanchions were winding and nearly every seat was taken, I had never seen the DMV this packed. An older woman who spoke only Spanish was about to step into the line several people behind me when she stopped to ask a worker a question. The worker did not speak Spanish and was trying to understand what she was asking when a gentleman stepped in to translate.

He explained that the woman was unsteady on her feet and wanted to know if it was necessary for her to stand in the line. The worker asked if she had anyone with her who could stand in line for her, but before the older woman could answer, the gentleman told her that she could have the spot in front of him and he would call to her when she was up next. Then, when it was her turn, he made sure that the attendant who called her up spoke Spanish and could help her.

Did I mention this occurred at the DMV? The DMV.

Later that same day, I watched as an elementary school auditorium filled with excited students and parents respectfully watched and (more or less) appropriately cheered for nearly 30 acts during the school’s talent show. When a young student came up to perform a mime routine I thought for sure the audience would talk through it. The student was near the end of a nearly two-hour production, and as restless as everyone was, the crowd was silent for their performance.

And perhaps most shockingly, in my own home, my children – who typically find joy in discovering new ways to annoy one another – have created a game which they play TOGETHER. It’s pretty basic and consists of Jackson trying to hit a wiffle ball over our house while Anessa “keeps score” and narrates his actions as if she is a sports commentator. They played this game two nights in a row without fighting once!

Are any of these moments life changing? Of course not. But they made me feel happy and hopeful and maybe like our civilization isn’t crumbling around us.

I know I’m not going to be able to stop noticing all the crappy things people do. The news alone does a pretty good job of that. However, when the good stuff happens, I want to do a better job of not just seeing it, but acknowledging it. I’m pretty sure it’s those little bumps of serotonin that are going to get me through the last of this school year.

That said, if I have to pull together an outfit for one more themed spirit day, all bets are off.

ID: Kelly and Anessa smiling at the camera surrounded by sunlit trees. Anessa is sitting in Kelly’s lap and she has her arms around her. Anessa is making a heart with her fingers and is wearing a pink dress and a gold cat ear headband.